If you’ve ever driven through a high-rent district and laughed at the cops patrolling the area, since about eight blocks to the east there’s a crime committed every minute, this story is for you.

Savannah police are on high alert for the vandal who placed googly eyes on the town statue of Nathanael Greene, a local Revolutionary War hero. Police insist that the perpetrator be brought to justice, lest a string of copy-cat crimes ensure.

Googly Eyes Are No Laughing Matter

The City of Savannah took to Facebook to get help from the community in finding the person responsible for the googly eyes. The city’s Facebook post been commented upon over 10,000 times, and shared over 37,000 times, and none in furtherance of catching the perp. Most comments are quite witty, irreverent, and political, and some responses even include their own googly-eyed objects. You can’t help but laugh, and perhaps cue the Scooby-Doo creepy music in your brain, when you see the googly-eyed statue.

This Could Get Out of Hand, Good People of Savannah!

Thankfully, someone from the police department had the good sense to just remove the googly eyes. According to Savannah Police Department spokesperson Keturah Greene (no relation), the stunt is technically trespassing, even though the eyes were removed and it appears there is no damage to the statue. Greene added “Honestly, it is a situation we need to look into because we don’t want people to go around defacing things. We don’t want it to get out of hand.”

Aren’t There Better Criminals to Track?

One would think these police officers had better things to do. According to one website, the rate of violent crime in Savannah averages 22% higher than the rest of Georgia, and 26% higher than the rest of the nation. Surely the local police have other crimes to solve. Admittedly, crime involving property is 21% higher than the rest of Georgia, and 48% higher than the rest of the nation. Perhaps crimes against property trump crimes against humanity in this southern town.

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